Sunday, March 04, 2007
Tring Spraining: Whatta Scoop!
It’s here, and I’m trying to pay it no attention.
Good thing, too, as there’s nothing of interest going on.
Oh, don’t worry - that doesn’t mean that there aren’t stories from Spring Training; it means that baseball-writers are desperately trying to justify their salaries by making a big deal out of everything.
Manny Ramirez is shitting on the Red Sox by going to a Classic Car sale in Atlantic City instead of showing up to camp on time - or, he’s tending to his ailing mama, and is showing up earlier than expected. Either way, he’s being traded/not being traded/possibly being traded to Colorado for Todd Helton.
Alex Rodriguez has an opt-out clause in his contract, so he’s looking for a bigger payday after this year - or, he’s staying put to show how little he actually cares about Derek Motherfucking Jeter’s evident dislike for him. Either way, when A-Rod says, "no comment", sixty-five articles pop-up braying about his unhappiness in New York.
Barry Bonds signed a contract with the Giants full of unique language that protects the Giants if Bonds ends up in jail - or, the contract isn’t signed because of other unique language keeping Bonds entourage at bay - or, the contract IS signed, but Bonds has the flu. Either way, Bonds isn’t shying away from the possibility of hitting 1000 HR in his career, or the possibility of spending the first years of his retirement behind bars.
Whatta scoop!
Who cares?
Doesn’t matter! What matters is the scoop! The scoop, and who scooped it first!
Scoop! ¶ 1:17 PM
Good thing, too, as there’s nothing of interest going on.
Oh, don’t worry - that doesn’t mean that there aren’t stories from Spring Training; it means that baseball-writers are desperately trying to justify their salaries by making a big deal out of everything.
Manny Ramirez is shitting on the Red Sox by going to a Classic Car sale in Atlantic City instead of showing up to camp on time - or, he’s tending to his ailing mama, and is showing up earlier than expected. Either way, he’s being traded/not being traded/possibly being traded to Colorado for Todd Helton.
Alex Rodriguez has an opt-out clause in his contract, so he’s looking for a bigger payday after this year - or, he’s staying put to show how little he actually cares about Derek Motherfucking Jeter’s evident dislike for him. Either way, when A-Rod says, "no comment", sixty-five articles pop-up braying about his unhappiness in New York.
Barry Bonds signed a contract with the Giants full of unique language that protects the Giants if Bonds ends up in jail - or, the contract isn’t signed because of other unique language keeping Bonds entourage at bay - or, the contract IS signed, but Bonds has the flu. Either way, Bonds isn’t shying away from the possibility of hitting 1000 HR in his career, or the possibility of spending the first years of his retirement behind bars.
Whatta scoop!
Who cares?
Doesn’t matter! What matters is the scoop! The scoop, and who scooped it first!
Scoop! ¶ 1:17 PM
